Wouldn’t it be awesome if narcissists, sociopaths and other emotionally abusive people had a tattoo on their forehead that said, “STAY AWAY?”
Yeah, we’d all be better off.
Unfortunately, that’s not a thing. But you can become so good at repelling narcissists that you’ll almost forget there are so many of them around.
Today, I’m going to share my best tips for avoiding and repelling narcissists and other emotionally abusive people.
How to Avoid Narcissists
Obviously, we can’t avoid narcissists completely. We know they’re everywhere. But you can avoid bringing them into your life by staying away from the places they troll for supply.
Avoid Online Dating
Narcissists love online dating sites because it’s so easy for them to find new targets. They can get a feel for whether you’d be a good source through a few quick messages and set up multiple dates at once.
If you’re having trouble spotting narcissists, stay off the online dating sites. If you don’t trust that you can spot the signs, you’re very likely to end up with a narcissist or other emotionally abusive person. This can be tricky because, especially covert narcissists, can even seem very insecure. You might think this person can’t possibly have an inflated sense of self. All the while, they’re thinking “this person so enamored with me… naturally.”
Be Wary of the Random “Soulmate” Connection
Be wary of anyone who pops up out of thin air and seems to have everything in common with you. Especially if you’re on public wifi.
This has happened to me twice. I was on public wifi and I posted something that someone approached me to discuss. They made it seem like it was a chance coincidence that we had met and had so much in common.
I could tell this person was lying, but I couldn’t figure out how a stranger would know to lie about these things with me. Later, I found out.
Another person approached me in the same way and mispronounced a word I had written. That’s what clued me in.
So if this happens to you, know that this person might not be your soulmate. They might be a predator.
Don’t get caught up in the “love at first sight” vibes they’re trying to put on you. The same goes for anyone you meet online… or anything someone can find out about you through a quick search.
You don’t have to be paranoid. Just be aware of what information is available as you talk to new people.
Avoid jumping from one relationship to the next
Many people who end up in relationships with narcissists are codepenedent. And someone who is codependent often doesn’t feel comfortable outside of a romantic relationship
If this describes you (even if you don’t want to admit it), it leaves you vulnerable to predatory people. You’re likely to overlook all the red flags in the early stages of a relationship. And you’ll be eager to make a connection with someone… so your radar will be down. You’ll want to believe every word they say, and the narcissist loves people like that.
How to repel narcissists
Don’t give them what they want.
If you end up with someone that you suspect is a narcissist, test the waters by saying no to something they really want.
It could be anything, but it has to be something they seem to be pushing for.
Maybe they call you at the last minute to hang out. Tell them you’re tired and have to get up early the next morning. See how they react.
If you’re dealing with an abuser, they’ll probably push.
Aw, c’mon. I just need to see you… five minutes, I promise.
When you still refuse, they may resort to using guilt and call your feelings into question.
Sorry, I thought you would be as excited to see me as I am to see you. Guess I was wrong.
If you like this person, and are a little codpendent, you’re going to be tempted to cave. Don’t.
This person is showing highly manipulative tendencies. It’s only going to get worse from here.
They are showing you exactly who they are right now. Believe them.
Now that you have my best tips for avoiding and repelling narcissists, let me hear yours.